I love this newsletter! I've never been apart of one before but this one always makes me feel so cozy.
I can't exactly say I was a 'gifted' child, but I have been a part of science and math programs most of my life with the expectation that I would always do well in them because I had been good at those things in the past. This caused a period in high school where I was very apathetic towards my grades. One of the reasons I was able to get myself out of it was learning about other women-in-STEM's failures and teaching myself that if you aren't failing--a lot, often times--then something isn't right.
thank you so much for joining me here! That sounds VERY MUCH like the same thing--being expected to always do well due to your abilities which I can totally see leading to a period of apathy. It's like if you're always expected to do well in something it becomes way too much of your identity instead of something you do, & then if you fail it can be shattering. I definitely want to learn how to fail a lot more & take it a lot more lightly!
Oof yeah. I would describe my attitude toward my grades in high school as something like belligerent apathy.
I was so bored, and so often got effusive praise for things I had bullshitted at the last minute that for a while I really committed myself to a project of finding out exactly how much I had to just...not, before there would be consequences. And thus begins the tale of how I almost failed my jr. year honors English class. A story in several non-acts, one of which was some paper I was supposed to write about Hamlet, but Did Not.
lol at 'belligerent apathy,' that really sums it up! and the whole thing about being praised for bullshit, i definitely get that--like, oh, can I just like b.s. my way through this? great, that seems like it will give me more time to have large teenage feelings so i'm just going to concentrate on that instead.
Reading your newsletter feels like catching up with an old friend. Because, for me anyway, that’s exactly what it is! Even if I’m the only one who gets to do any catching up. Thanks for your writing. I truly enjoy it :)
I love this newsletter! I've never been apart of one before but this one always makes me feel so cozy.
I can't exactly say I was a 'gifted' child, but I have been a part of science and math programs most of my life with the expectation that I would always do well in them because I had been good at those things in the past. This caused a period in high school where I was very apathetic towards my grades. One of the reasons I was able to get myself out of it was learning about other women-in-STEM's failures and teaching myself that if you aren't failing--a lot, often times--then something isn't right.
thank you so much for joining me here! That sounds VERY MUCH like the same thing--being expected to always do well due to your abilities which I can totally see leading to a period of apathy. It's like if you're always expected to do well in something it becomes way too much of your identity instead of something you do, & then if you fail it can be shattering. I definitely want to learn how to fail a lot more & take it a lot more lightly!
Oof yeah. I would describe my attitude toward my grades in high school as something like belligerent apathy.
I was so bored, and so often got effusive praise for things I had bullshitted at the last minute that for a while I really committed myself to a project of finding out exactly how much I had to just...not, before there would be consequences. And thus begins the tale of how I almost failed my jr. year honors English class. A story in several non-acts, one of which was some paper I was supposed to write about Hamlet, but Did Not.
lol at 'belligerent apathy,' that really sums it up! and the whole thing about being praised for bullshit, i definitely get that--like, oh, can I just like b.s. my way through this? great, that seems like it will give me more time to have large teenage feelings so i'm just going to concentrate on that instead.
Reading your newsletter feels like catching up with an old friend. Because, for me anyway, that’s exactly what it is! Even if I’m the only one who gets to do any catching up. Thanks for your writing. I truly enjoy it :)
thank you so much, it's SO nice to see you here! <3<3